Each family is in itself a small society that contains its own traditions and its own unique culture.  By culture, it is meant that each member of the family understands that there is a certain acceptable way to do things outside of the home based on the beliefs inside the home.  Parents are the shapers of those cultural beliefs and one aspect that many are missing is adding a shared value system of forgiveness.  By adding forgiveness to the family culture, it reinforces the validity of all other beliefs within the micro-society of the family home.

Parents that wish to bring forgiveness into their home can start with simple graces and by commending polite attitudes and behavior.  Manners can sometimes become more lax when within the comfort of the home, but revitalizing the use of “please”, “thank you”, and “I am sorry” is a good way to build a foundation for adding forgiveness.

Forgiveness has to become part of everyday life and not only used as a means to teach a lesson.  Parents should be able to apologize to one another as well as to their children.  Children should be taught how to forgive and how to ask for forgiveness.

By creating a home culture of forgiveness; the children that grow up in that environment will have greater self-esteem, be free of resentment and will be given better social, spiritual and psychological tools for when they are out in world on their own.  Children that grow up in a household where forgiveness is a part of their tradition and way of life will continue to pass on those beliefs to the families that they build.

J. Hartford

One of the toughest spiritual struggles a person can face is trying to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. The parent who was supposed to protect you, but abused you instead. The spouse who vowed to love, honor and cherish you, but instead beat or betrayed you. The friend who you always felt “had your back” until he or she stabbed you in it! This can be a profound spiritual struggle because we have been told that Jesus called for forgiveness, and we are convinced that forgiveness is the one thing we can never give. Some people even start avoiding church or any kind of spiritual support group because they feel that strongly that they can never forgive. Perhaps some who read these words are in that category.

Having difficulty forgiving an abuser is certainly understandable, and persons in that situation need to know first and foremost that they are not alone. The person who quickly and easily turns, smiles and forgives when they have been stabbed in the back, is more often a better actor than they are a better Christian. For most of us, including myself, there is a lot more struggle.

But the one thing we sometimes do not understand is we can never recover from a trauma until we learn to forgive the one who perpetrated that trauma upon us. Bitterness eats away at our heart and life even more than does cholesterol. That’s why when we are trying to recover from these issues, secular counseling is often not enough, because a secular counselor is not trained in the area of seeking God’s strength to forgive.

When it’s tough for us to forgive, we need to remember what happened with Jesus Christ. His friends betrayed him, and his enemies nailed him to a cross, and he still could say, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Through Christ’s strength we can forgive traumatic experiences as well. We can’t do it alone. We often need the help of a Christian counselor. That is what The Bless Me Network is all about. Give us a call, and let’s see what God can do through us together!