One of the toughest spiritual struggles a person can face is trying to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. The parent who was supposed to protect you, but abused you instead. The spouse who vowed to love, honor and cherish you, but instead beat or betrayed you. The friend who you always felt “had your back” until he or she stabbed you in it! This can be a profound spiritual struggle because we have been told that Jesus called for forgiveness, and we are convinced that forgiveness is the one thing we can never give. Some people even start avoiding church or any kind of spiritual support group because they feel that strongly that they can never forgive. Perhaps some who read these words are in that category.

Having difficulty forgiving an abuser is certainly understandable, and persons in that situation need to know first and foremost that they are not alone. The person who quickly and easily turns, smiles and forgives when they have been stabbed in the back, is more often a better actor than they are a better Christian. For most of us, including myself, there is a lot more struggle.

But the one thing we sometimes do not understand is we can never recover from a trauma until we learn to forgive the one who perpetrated that trauma upon us. Bitterness eats away at our heart and life even more than does cholesterol. That’s why when we are trying to recover from these issues, secular counseling is often not enough, because a secular counselor is not trained in the area of seeking God’s strength to forgive.

When it’s tough for us to forgive, we need to remember what happened with Jesus Christ. His friends betrayed him, and his enemies nailed him to a cross, and he still could say, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Through Christ’s strength we can forgive traumatic experiences as well. We can’t do it alone. We often need the help of a Christian counselor. That is what The Bless Me Network is all about. Give us a call, and let’s see what God can do through us together!